Our surrogacy story: a journey of hope, love, and resilience
I’m here to tell our story, a real-life version of events. There is often a lot of negativity around surrogacy but what I’m about to share is a version that is filled with love, connection and support.
Two unsuccessful IVF cycles
Three frozen embryo transfers
One surgery
Three more frozen embryo transfers
Steroids
Hundreds of injections
Acupuncture
Reflexology
Nutrition plans
Then, we made the best decision of our lives – surrogacy
Three frozen embryo transfers with the incredible Kay
One positive test, a moment of joy that lasted a few days
A new path, a new hope – Mexico
Creation of more embryos
One final frozen transfer with Aurora
And after six years, we were finally pregnant.
We are in a relatively unique position, in that we have gone through surrogate journeys with MSJ in the UK (unsuccessfully) and Mexico, so have an insight into how both pathways compare.
We first came across MSJ whilst researching surrogacy in the UK and after some initial research and a discovery call were happy that their ethical code aligned with our own. Meaning that we personally had high, non-negotiable expectations around safeguarding, the experience for both the surrogate and intended parents, safety and care. We went with MSJ as they were on the same page as us.
Our experience across the whole Mexican journey has felt really good, ourselves and our surrogate, Aurora, have built a strong bond and we’ve been provided with a level of care that exceeded our expectations. We also liked the fact that Mexico has legal framework that gives legal certainty protecting us, as intended parents, as well as Aurora.
We’ve not been oblivious to the noise around the ethics of surrogacy in Mexico online, so from the moment we were offered the possibility of a Mexican pathway it was really important that we felt we were doing the right thing morally. What we found and what we’ve experienced is a high level of safeguarding for all parties and pretty intense scrutiny of ourselves and our background. The onus has been on us to prove we are a suitable match for Aurora, as well as vice versa.
We were matched with Aurora by MSJ based on our personalities and hers, as we might be a good fit. The first step was an online video call, where Aurora was accompanied by an MSJ chaperone. She had already been highly screened to ensure she was in this for the right reasons i.e. this is not just a transactional process to earn, there has to be an element of altruism for her wanting to go ahead. We knew from her profile that she was educated, came from a good family, was local to Mexico City and already had a good job with a regular income. Which obviously filled us with confidence.
Next, we flew to Mexico City to meet various members of the MSJ team, the medical team and the legal team. Really happy with the conversations and the standard. Whilst there we met Aurora for coffee, again she was chaperoned by the MSJ team for safeguarding and we got on really well. She is a good person with a good heart. It was at this point that we all decided (Aurora also had the right to withdraw at any point if she did not connect with us) that we go ahead together.
In the meantime, we were scrutinised by MSJ. Socio-Economic tests, DBS background checks, psychological assessments, counselling etc. We had to go through way more scrutiny for Mexico than we ever needed to for surrogacy in the UK.
Since then we have been back in Mexico City and witnessed the level of aftercare Aurora has received, both medical and mental (counselling etc.). Having been on a 6-year IVF & surrogacy journey in the UK, it surpasses anything we experienced at UK clinics (and there are a few).
I think it’s important for you to understand the relationship we have with our Aurora and her entire family. This is not just a cold, transactional arrangement. We are team going through a journey together. We have been in daily contact since we decided we were all going ahead and we’ve built a close bond. We attended all of Aurora’s appointments and scans via video link.
Aurora will be a part of Sunny’s life forever and we have met her family on numerous occasions…we know her mother, her sister and her daughter. Her mother was her birthing partner, she comes from a really close-knit family unit of strong females that’s really inspiring. Aurora will forever be a part of our child’s life. And our child, Sunny, will grow up knowing they were born from a place of courage, compassion, and community.
Just as we received the news we had longed for, that we were finally pregnant, our world was shaken in a different way. My beautiful little sister, suddenly passed.
The joy of new life and the grief of losing someone so deeply loved collided in the most surreal and painful way. Hannah was my sister, my friend, a bright, beautiful soul who should still be here. The ache of her absence is something I carry every day, even now.
But I believe with all my heart that she is watching over us, over Sunny. That she had a hand in bringing this little soul to us when we needed it most. And just as we carry the story of how Sunny came into the world, we will carry Hannah’s story too.
Sunny will know everything about his Auntie Hannah. Her kindness, her humour, her heart. She will be a part of him, always.
Looking back now, this journey didn’t just give us a child, it transformed our lives.
The process shaped us in ways we never could have imagined. It taught us resilience in the face of heartbreak, patience in the face of uncertainty, and hope in the face of despair.
It brought people into our lives, like Aurora, her family, and the MSJ team, who have forever changed the way we see connection, kindness, and human strength. It opened our hearts to the beauty of shared purpose and to the incredible capacity people have to support one another.
Surrogacy is so often reduced to legalities or logistics, but for us, it has been an experience defined by generosity, integrity, and deep emotional connection. It challenged us, changed us, and ultimately gave us the family we had dreamed of for so long.
We are better people because of this journey, more open, more grateful, and more deeply aware of what it means to create something meaningful with others. Sunny’s story began in science, but it’s been written with love, by many hands, across countries and cultures, united by one goal, to bring life into the world in the most beautiful way possible.
